An Orkish Reason to Fight
by Lord22
Summary: Dark times have fallen upon the planet of Osgil, and with all that is occurring elsewhere they are far from all help. Or so it seems. Yet an unlikely messiah may soon change that for the most convoluted of reasons...


**Chapter One:**  
Things were not looking good for the planet Osgil. The forces of Chaos were rampaging unchecked, the Space Marines were nowhere to be seen. The Imperial Guard Regiments continued fighting, but were vastly overextended and overtaxed. The sound of gunfire echoed endlessly in the ears of Men as mortars were fired and Lasguns tore through line after line of Cultist and occasionally Chaos Space Marine. Yet there seemed no end in sight, and for all their valor the Imperial Guard had not the strength to fight both the Chaos Space Marines and their cultist servants. Already the final attack had begun on the desicated carcass that had once been a city of life and beauty.

Amidst the endless screams and fury of battle, a Kasarkin crept up a slope and spied the oddest thing he had ever witnessed in his entire life.

Two Orks was hanging onz to a ledge, and eachother as the Imperial Boyz fought it out with the Chaos Boyz. Their names were Slugga, and Shoota, and the skyscraper theyz was hanging onto fell over beneath a barrage of artillery. Down they crashed, and landed in the rubble dazed as the Imperialz Boyz and the Chaos Boyz closed in around, firing weapons at eachother en masse.

The nearest Ork Waagh was well over twenty thousand lightyears away and they knew it. 'I'z can't kills all des humies Slugga!' said Shoota as he fell exhausted against the side of a wall as Imperial Guards fired volley after volley into lines of Cultists and Chaos Space Marines.

'I knowz! By all rights we'ze gotz nothing ta do with dis fighting!' said Slugga. 'Boyz in those old fightz had lotz a chances of turning tail and running away with their pointy tailed between their legz! We'ze not got tails, but dats besides da point! Da point is, theyz was hanging onz ta something!'

'Whatz we'ze got to hang on toes Slugga? Da buildings are all-'

'QUIET! I'mz telling da story!' Roared Slugga as a grenade exploded nearby. 'But I'ze think I understands now what dey were hangin onto!'

'Who dat?' The Orks were momentarily distracted, as a dark presence made itself known.

A Chaos Sorcerer now stood atop the ledge, framed against the falling sun and a bloodred sky. His staff sent forth unholy spectrals as he summoned to him all evil. And around him the Cultists and Chaos Space Marines rallied for a final brutal assault upon the waning power of the Imperial Lines.

And in that moment is was as if the Kasarkin could see everything that had happened, and that would happen. One long chain of events stretching far back across a thousand worlds. The forces of Chaos would pillage and burn, and tear apart or twist all that had once been green and good in this world. Then Chaos would reign, and the only option remaining would be an exterminatus.

If the Sorcerer lived, this ruin would be his world. And all that he loved would be lost. He raised his gun, and pulled back the loaded before firing a single shot. It echoed throughout the cityscape as the shot sped through the air in almost slow motion-

And missed completely the Chaos Sorcerer. It did, however, blast the Chaos Lord in the head as he was climbing up the hill behind the Chaos Sorcerer and he fell backward, the shot piercing his left eye. 'Helmet technology guys. Look into it.' Muttered the Kasarkin.

As the Lord of the Chaos Space Marines reeled and spewed blood, dying amidst his confused forces, the Imperial Guard pressed their advantage. The Chaos Sorcerer sought to rally his confused forces, to bid them press forward and gain victory with ease by a critical mass of bodies.

But then something happened the Gods of Chaos did not intend.

'Dat dere's some good in this universe Shoota! And its worth fightin!' And then, because the Imperial Guard were incredibly outnumbered, Slugga and Shoota rose up and charged the lines of the Chaos Boyz and hit the resident Chaos Sorcerer across the face so hard that his head was swept clean off, and went careening and spinning away to land in an unfortunate rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won for the Imperial Guard, and the game of Chaos Sorcerer Golf invented in the same moment.

Unfortunately it never became much of a hit, since the supply of Chaos Sorcerer's became distressingly short once the Orks started hunting them for their Helmets.

Shortly thereafter a group of Space Marines arrived to aid with the mop up. Their Captain, finding little of true concern to warrant his direct attention with all going according to plan, called for a debriefing.

'You are to be commended for your heroic defense of Osgil.' He said flatly. 'However I must for the record inquire after the exact nature of your victory. Your records state that it was a Kasarkin who shot the Chaos Lord. However, they fail to state how the Chaos Sorcerer was slain. How do you explain this discrepency?'

'...Well...'

'...Your not going to believe this.'

'An Ork killed him.'

'There was a Waagh in this Sector as well?! How is it that none of the orbital relay gave us this data?! This is a criminal lack of communication, gentlemen.'

'No, there wasn't a Waagh. There were just two Orks hanging from a ledge. Then the Chaos Marines blew up the skyscraped the ledge was one, the Orks got angry, and they bowled over the Space Marines and knocked off the head of the Sorcerer.'

'...I see. Well the next subject of business-'

'What, thats it?! Your not going to call me a liar or-'

'Sir, in the short time I have been Captain of this Space Marine Company I have led five seperate invasions against Ork Waaghs of various sizes, often involving the taint of Chaos. In those engagements the first thing I learned about Orks is that nothing about them makes sense.

Bring up the next item on the agenda!'

'Sir yes sir!'

And that was the end of that.

 **Authors note:**

Not much to tell really, just a fun idea that occurred to me and seemed perfectly in character with Orks, given how random their actions can be. Perhaps some may take issue with the Space Marine Captain, however each Captain is different. Chances are there is at least one in the innumerable Space Marines who fits this persona. And if not, its my own custom Space Marine Sqaud.

This is why Warhammer 40K is awesome. Its so large scale, the campaigns and battles you fight on your own with board or computer are effectively cannon. Anything can happen, with a very few exceptions.


End file.
